What does the Bible say about touching breasts before marriage?
Introduction
Questions like this usually come up during discussions about what is considered too much in a romantic relationship that hasn’t been made official by marriage.
Everybody, especially young people, feels sexual urges because of our human nature.
Having sexual feelings is normal, and so is being in a relationship. However, what is wrong is engaging in sexual activities with our boyfriends and girlfriends to satisfy the urge.
God’s Word in 1 Corinthians 6:18 says we should flee sexual immorality.
Apart from penetrative sex, countless other sexual acts can be counted as sins, even though they are not explicitly mentioned in the Bible.
Is touching your partner’s breasts part of these sins?
Keep reading to find out.
Touching breasts in marriage
First and foremost, God permits sex between two married couples.
In fact, one of the core reasons why God instituted the institution of marriage is for procreation (Genesis 1:28).
Without sex, this purpose of marriage cannot be fulfilled.
Beyond giving birth to children, sex is a tool for intimacy between married couples.
It should be enjoyed by both husband and his wife (1 Corinthians 7:3). But sex can come in any form.
It could be through passionate kissing, romancing, and touching sensitive parts like the breasts.
The Bible encourages the touching of breasts in marriage.
Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times.” (paraphrased).
In marriage, the woman’s breast is not only for breastfeeding her babies.
They are pleasure points and sources of enjoyment for her husband (Song of Solomon 7:6-13)
So, there’s nothing wrong with the husband fondling his wife’s breasts; so far, she enjoys it, and he doesn’t hurt her purposely.
What does the Bible say about touching breasts before marriage?
Touching breasts is sexual immorality.
“Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)
The thing with touching sensitive parts in a relationship is that it almost always leads to full-blown sex sooner or later.
James 1:15 says, “Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
That is why the Bible preaches total abstinence or marriage if one cannot control oneself.
As stated earlier, sexual immorality is not limited to penetrative alone.
Any sexual act that makes one sexually aroused is sexual immorality.
Therefore, touching breasts must be avoided between unmarried couples.
The Bible says our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.
For the temple to be habitable for the Holy Spirit, it must be clean.
One of the things that pollute our bodies is sexual sin, like touching breasts.
So, to continue to remain God’s abode, we must not maintain purity (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Touching breasts is harlotry.
“They committed harlotry in Egypt, they committed harlotry in their youth; their breasts were there embraced, their virgin bosom was there pressed.” (Ezekiel 23:3)
According to Ezekiel 23:3, only a harlot gets her breasts fondled by a man.
This may sound a little harsh, but the breast is a private part that should be concealed just as other private parts.
Women in this present time might claim body positivity or say they can do whatever they like with their bodies. But based on the Bible’s standard, any woman whose breasts are easily accessible to any man, including her boyfriend, is not different from a harlot.
As such, it means a lady like that is a sinner with no self-value.
The man is not left out as well.
READ MORE: What Does ‘Prudent’ Mean in the Bible?
The thought of touching breasts is a sin.
“Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
One might feel they are sinless because they haven’t touched breasts or got their breasts caressed. However, sexual immorality goes beyond the physical act alone.
One can commit sexual sins in their hearts and still bear similar consequences to those who performed it.
Jesus plainly said that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery or fornication in their heart.
What this means is that if you imagine pressing a lady’s breasts, or if a lady imagines a man fondling her breasts, they are guilty of sexual immorality.
Therefore, our hearts must be concentrated unto God.
We must discipline our hearts and feed them with godly thoughts and God’s Word.
“The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.” (Psalm 12:6)
READ MORE: What is the biblical meaning of a halo around the moon?
Touching breasts for medical reasons.
Touching breasts for medical reasons is a common and necessary practice in healthcare.
Breast exams are essential to routine healthcare for both women and men, as breast cancer can affect anyone.
Breast exams can be done by a healthcare provider.
During a clinical breast exam, a healthcare provider will usually feel the breasts and underarms for any lumps, changes in texture, or other abnormalities.
They may also examine the nipples and the surrounding areas.
It’s important to note that medical professionals who perform breast exams are trained to do so professionally and respectfully.
Patients should feel comfortable discussing any concerns they may have about the exam with their healthcare provider.
It’s also worth noting that breast exams are not the same as sexual touching.
Breast exams are conducted for the purpose of medical assessment and are not sexual in nature.
Healthcare providers must maintain appropriate professional boundaries and respect the dignity and privacy of their patients at all times.
Therefore, touching breasts for medical purposes is not a sin, as the Bible encourages the sick to see a doctor.
“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.” (Matthew 9:12)
Is it a sin to look at breasts?
The power of the eyes
Every part of our bodies is special and crucial to function well.
No body part is greater than the other.
They all work together to help us live a healthy and happy life, appreciating God’s goodness and fulfilling destiny.
However, some body parts can significantly influence our lives spiritually than they rest because of the roles they play in shaping our perception of life.
These body parts are the eyes and ears. But we will focus on the eyes here.
Eyes are famously referred to as the window or doorway to the soul.
This description is profound, especially when we understand the power of influences and the soul in our walk with the Lord.
The Bible says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Conforming to this world means adopting worldly or sinful ways.
There’s a clear difference between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of the devil and how their citizens.
God’s kingdom is the kingdom of light and godliness, and the devil’s kingdom is a kingdom of darkness and sin.
The fastest way to conform to these two kingdoms is through what we see.
The more we look, the more we become because the eyes feed our thoughts, which influence our minds.
Our minds, on the other hand, influence the way we behave or act. Therefore, if all we see is violence and lust, the chances of becoming violent and lustful are significantly high.
In essence, the eyes’ functions go beyond seeing colors and figures.
They can determine who we become and where we will spend eternity.
That is why we must be mindful of what we look.
God warned Lot and his family not to turn back to look at Sodom and Gomorrah when he was destroying it because he wanted them to shift their gaze from sin and the past and focus on the glorious future he had prepared for them if they walked in His ways.
However, Lot’s wife turned back and became a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:26).
Looking vs. Looking lustfully
Now that we have established the power of the eyes and how what we look at can influence our lives, the question that might be skipping in our minds is, is looking at breast sin?
To answer this question, we must consider context and intention.
To look at something, including a woman’s breasts, is not a sin. However, what is the circumstance surrounding looking, and why are you looking at her breasts?
A male breast surgeon, for example, has no choice but to look at and even touch different women’s breasts daily.
He must do so to save women from dying untimely from breast cancer.
Also, the unusual size of some women’s breasts will naturally catch people’s eyes. This is where intention comes in.
Intention has to do with what you are thinking when doing something or your purpose for doing something.
Jesus says, “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). The key phrase here is “lustful intent.”
What thought goes through your mind when looking at a woman’s breasts? If you think impure thoughts, then you have sinned.
Many believers have categorized certain sins as small and others as grievous.
For example, they believe having sex or fondling the breasts of a woman one is not married to is a bigger sin than looking lustfully at them.
Sin is sin.
All sins attract the same punishment. “For the wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6:23)
The Bible says God weighs the heart (Proverbs 21:2).
This means that God does not focus on what we do or how we act but on what goes on in our hearts.
So, one can look at breasts and quickly remove their eyes but imagine evil and lustful things in their hearts.
Based on the world’s standards, such a person would be considered decent and respectful but sinful in God’s eyes.
“I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.” (Jeremiah 17:10)
Making a covenant with your eyes
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” (Job 31:1)
Every believer must get to the point where they make a covenant with their eyes, not to behold iniquity, no matter what it takes.
This is a crucial decision today, where sex and nudity have become the order of the day.
Exposing sensitive body parts, like breasts, is now considered cool or trendy.
Those who chose the path of chastity, modesty, and holiness are abused and considered weird.
The internet, social media spaces, movies, and streets are littered with nudity, making it extra hard for those who want to please the Lord to hold on to their values.
However, we must intentionally refuse to look upon evil amidst all these.
Daniel, Shedrack, Meshach, and Abednego refused to eat the king’s meal despite being in the sinful city of Babylon.
It does not matter where you are; you have the choice not to lustfully gaze at breasts even when it is everywhere you turn or take your eyes off them.
Also, note that watching breasts in pornography is the same as lustfully looking at breasts.
It must not be physical alone.
So what should we do?
We must always look at what will make us become like Christ and build up our spirit-man.
Philippians 4:8 tells us what to look at and meditate upon as believers:
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. “
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Anonymous
Sunday 25th of February 2024
You write about how women exposing their breasts are sinful harlots (i.e., whores), and the dangers of lust, yet this article is full of women in revealing clothes. To be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with what these women are wearing. But you are sending a very inconsistent message here.
Breasts aren't private parts, not in the same way as genitals. It's indecent in many places for women to reveal the center of their breasts, but that's not a universal social standard nor mentioned in the Bible. It's therefore a question of propriety, decency, and politeness.
I do agree that men and women shouldn't be gazing at the bodies, clothed or unclothed, for sexual gratification.
As to the issue of a boyfriend touching or looking at his girlfriend's breasts, or both, I think it's less morally black and white as you say. A couple shouldn't be having sex unless married to each other, I agree, and I agree that sex is more than penetrative intercourse. And I agree that full nudity together is sexual intimacy that should be reserved for marriage. I disagree that everything with sexual feelings involved is sex. If a couple is considered marrying each other, they should be desiring to have sex with each other. With the understanding that sex will be once married. If there is no sexual desire, that's something to be concerned about. Passionate kissing is recommended for seriously dating couples for this reason. And, as you mention, it's something explicitly mentioned in the opening of Song of Solomon as something the bride-to-be longs for her betrothed to do with her.
I think touching or viewing her breasts, while intimate, isn't the same as sex. It's an more intimate expression of love than passionate kissing, but I think falls into that category of passionate intimacy that's not sex acts. A couple might want to save that for marriage, or might not be comfortable with that before marriage. But another couple might be okay with it as an expression of their love and desire for each other, looking forward to consummation in marriage. Now, absolutely this has to be a mutually agreed upon level of intimacy, and if a man, or the woman, for that matter, tries to pressure their partner, that's a red flag. But, if it's with the boundaries they've set and they can control themselves, I think it's acceptable. Just because he's touching her breasts, or just because, with her permission, he took her bra or bikini top off, doesn't mean his underpants or swim trunks have to come off. That's actually a good sign if they each can control themselves and keep the touching away from each other's genitals.