Which are the signs your church doesn’t want you?
Introduction
The church is a community of believers where love, fellowship, and service to God abound.
It’s a blessing to be a part of such a loving community where you can be edified as a believer and build faith in Christ.
The church contributes to the spiritual growth and social/emotional well-being of the Christian, which is why it can be genuinely saddening when your church doesn’t want you.
Sadly, some churches lack certain qualities the Bible encourages within Christian fellowship, and rather than foster a loving and united environment for people, they do the exact opposite, significantly affecting the faith and spiritual wholeness of Christians.
Being in a place that clearly shows they do not want you may affect your relationship with God in many ways.
There are signs to look out for when you suspect your church doesn’t want you, which indicates that it may be time to leave the church rather than remain in a place you aren’t wanted.
This article will list 20 signs your church doesn’t want you so you can quickly identify a church that will support your spiritual growth and contribute to your personal development as a child of God.
20 Signs Your Church Doesn’t Want You:
UNWELCOMING
The most noticeable thing about a church is its welcoming atmosphere.
In Colossians 1:4, Paul praised the church in Colosse for their love towards one another and other believers.
The news of their love had spread among the Christians and gotten to Paul, which made him commend them. An unwelcoming church atmosphere goes against God’s will for the church.
When you notice your church’s unloving and unwelcoming attitude towards you, it is a sign that they do not value your presence and, therefore, you are unwanted in their midst.
LACK OF SERVICE OPPORTUNITIES
The church provides an environment for service. Apostle Paul refers to the church as the Body of Christ, and a body is made of different parts, each having a function (Romans 12:5; 1 Corinthians 12:27).
The church is meant to value each member and seek their active participation within the fellowship.
So, one thing to look out for is the provision of opportunities to serve.
Suppose you notice limited opportunities, making it difficult for you to serve using your gifts and talents.
In that case, it may indicate that your church doesn’t value you or doesn’t want your contributions or participation in their community.
TOXIC ENVIRONMENT
The Bible encourages us to live at peace with all men, for peacemakers are called the children of God (Hebrews 12:14; Romans 12:18; Matthew 5:9).
This is a strong characteristic of a healthy church. However, suppose you experience a lack of peace and lots of toxic behaviors from your church, such as constant gossiping, hurtful comments thrown around easily, heated arguments and debates that demoralize rather than build, and so on.
In that case, these are indications of their lack of desire to be supportive and loving. Such behaviors are toxic to your spiritual growth and emotional well-being.
It’s clear you are not wanted there.
ZERO AVENUE TO ASK QUESTIONS
The church should be where liberty in Christ can be fully experienced and enjoyed.
It is meant to be a safe space to ask questions to gain more insight and knowledge about the faith.
In Acts 8:27-39, Philip was welcoming towards the eunuch’s questions about the scriptures he was reading and gave answers to them.
Jesus Christ also accommodated His disciples’ questions even when He felt they were to know the answers.
He never turned them down.
Therefore, if you witness or experience a hostile environment that prevents asking questions in your church may be a sign that you are not valued.
Your spiritual growth isn’t a priority to them.
IMPACTS LIMITED TO NO VALUE
St. Francis of Assissi Church in San Francisco, California
A healthy church adds value to its members.
Due to the loving and united environment created by the church, members find expression to grow in their spiritual walk with God and social interaction with people. There should be a constant edification of the members.
The early church in the book of Acts continued to grow because the church community was adding value to the lives of the believers, and many people wanted to be a part of such fellowship (Acts 2:42-47; Acts 5:13-14).
If you constantly notice that you are receiving next to no value in your church, it means that your church is not interested in the individual growth of its members.
ZERO TRANSPARENCY
In any organization or community, transparency is highly crucial.
This is also true about the church.
Paul’s letters were to be read to the hearing of all the members of the different churches he wrote to (Colossians 4:16; Acts 15:30, 1 Thessalonians 5:27).
The entire church was aware of how their resources were distributed among themselves and to others (Acts 4:34-37; Philippians 4:18; Romans 15:26).
If you find a lack of transparency in your place of worship regarding the use of finances, and making of decisions.
Other essential issues requiring information being passed across indicate your church’s disinterest in being open and honest to its members. It shows a lack of value because of the leadership there towards its members.
SUPERFICIAL
When a church is superficial, it lacks any depth.
Whatever they are or have to offer stops at surface value.
They do a lot to present themselves grandiose to attract people, but within, there’s nothing they offer.
Jesus rebuked the scribes and Pharisees as being whitewashed sepulchers: beautiful on the outside but terrible within (Matthew 23:27).
If you find that this rings true about your place of worship, it is a sign that you are not wanted there.
The church is meant to care much about you and take necessary actions to ensure your spiritual growth and personal development.
Being in a place where everything ends at face value contributes nothing to your growth as a child of God.
DISCRIMINATION
The Bible tells us that in Christ, we are all one.
The verse reads thus: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28).
The church is made of diverse people from various cultural backgrounds, ages, social statuses, educational backgrounds, and so on, but in Christ, we are one before God.
If you experience discrimination due to your age, race, social status, or any other differences you may have, it is an indication that your church may not want you among them.
LACK OF PRIORITIZATION OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH
As a church member, you are to enjoy adequate edifying teachings and worship sessions, which uplift your faith and maturity in spiritual things.
Paul says in Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
Paul pointed out how being fed with sound doctrinal teachings and engaging in meaningful worship and praise sessions contributes to the spiritual growth of Christians.
Therefore, if you find that your church lacks in prioritizing this, it may suggest their lack of will to commit to your spiritual growth.
LEADERSHIP LISTENS TO NO ONE
One of the characteristics of a healthy church is the willingness of the leaders to be open to receiving suggestions and contributions from its members.
The apostles paid attention to the neglect of the Greek widows that was communicated to them and made arrangements to tackle the issue immediately (Acts 6:1-6).
Church leadership refusing to listen to its members and resisting ideas proffered by them, choosing to stick to its rigid mindset and practices, indicates their lack of interest in their members.
If you notice your ideas and contributions are shut down and not given a chance to be voiced, then it may be a sign you are unwanted, and there’s no value placed on your presence there.
CONSTANT SHAMING AND ATTACK
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 11:28 that all who labor and are ladened heavily with burdens should come to Him for rest.
The church is meant to serve as a welcoming and safe environment for people to lay their burdens at the feet of Jesus. However, some churches shame people for their differences and attack them for their flaws.
Correction and rebuke are meant to be done in love and patience (2 Timothy 4:2; 2 Timothy 2:24).
If you have constantly experienced or witnessed subtle or direct attacks and shaming from your church, it may indicate that they do not want you in their midst.
FOSTERS DIVISION
Unity is a fundamental attribute of a healthy church.
Where love is, there will also be unity.
The disciples were unified in love, faith, and prayer when the Holy Spirit came upon them in the upper room (Acts 2:1-4).
The church is meant to foster the oneness of the believers (Philippians 2:2).
Therefore, being in a church where divisions based on gender, financial status, race, and the likes are encouraged can be detrimental to your growth as a Christian.
In Romans 16:17, Paul clearly states to avoid those who cause divisions within the church.
In 1 Corinthians 1:10, he encourages the church to be united in mind and not divided.
If you encounter divisions in your church which is encouraged rather than addressed appropriately, it may be a sign that your church no longer wants you.
STANDS ALONE AND RESISTS WORKING WITH OTHERS
Small blue and white church on a rock near village of Zia on Kos island, Greece
The church should be open to working with other missions and Christian fellowships in reaching out to the unsaved in the communities they are physically located in and also eternal communities.
As earlier stated, believers are meant to be united everywhere they meet and work together to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.
A church that refuses to join hands with other believers to propagate the spread of the gospel and would instead choose to stand alone to take all the credit for whatever work they do within and outside their communities is toxic.
If you notice this about your church and you have witnessed or experienced a roadblock trying to get them to participate with other churches or missions for the work of God, it may just be an indication that they do not value relationships and unity.
LACK OF CONCERN FOR THE NEEDY AND UNDERPRIVILEGED
The church of God is greatly concerned about those in need.
Throughout the New Testament churches, we read how community service was a significant part of fellowship.
The needs of others within and outside the church were of priority to the early church (2 Corinthians 8:14; Acts 4:34-35; Philemon 1:7; 2 Corinthians 9:1-2).
The church is meant to be actively involved in community outreaches to meet the needs of the less privileged.
If you find that your church has little to no interest in outreach programs and lacks avenues for believers in need to be catered for, it indicates a lack of love and concern for people.
LACK OF MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS
The church community is meant to encourage meaningful relationships and connections among its members. Love fosters great friendships and genuine personal connections between people in the church community.
Paul the apostle never ceased to mention people in his letters, appreciating their services.
He had close, meaningful relationships with members of the several churches he visited.
If such wasn’t encouraged among them, it would have been difficult for him to achieve that.
The church is one big family of God!
If you do not experience any meaningful connections or struggle to form genuine relationships with fellow believers in your church, it may indicate that your church doesn’t encourage such connections and does not value the relationship as a family of God.
LACK OF SUPPORT IN DIFFICULT TIMES
A Christian should be able to get support from his/her church community.
A healthy church supports its members, being present during trying times and rendering appropriate assistance when needed (Romans 12:15; James 5:14,16; 1 Thessalonians 5:11,14).
If you had experienced a lack of support from your church while going through challenging periods, it might be a sign that you are not valued, and your well-being is of little concern to them.
UNHEALTHY FOCUS ON FINANCIAL PROSPERITY AND MATERIAL SUBSTANCE
It is the will of God for you to prosper in all areas of your life. However, the focus should be on Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd who provides our needs (Psalms 23:1; Philippians 4:19).
A church that excessively focuses on the accumulation of material substance and financial prosperity cannot be healthy for the spiritual growth of a Christian.
Discrimination and shaming will abound in such an environment, placing undue pressure on believers.
If your church places too much emphasis on material wealth, it may indicate a lack of concern for the wholesome spiritual growth of its members.
RIVALRY
Love, respect, unity, and peace are vital characteristics of a healthy church community.
Where there is rivalry and disputes, confusion and division are fostered (James 3:16).
Apostle Paul discouraged striving and disputing in his letters (Philippians 2:14-15; 1 Timothy 6:3-5).
Unhealthy competition should not be found in the body of Christ in any way. The Bible calls such competitions and comparisons foolishness (2 Corinthians 10:12).
If you are constantly experiencing rivalry and displays of power between members of your church, it is a sign that your church lacks the desire to create or maintain a spiritually healthy environment that is of great benefit to your spiritual growth and maturity.
DRAINING
The church community should be an uplifting and supportive environment.
The fellowship of believers is to create an environment where the people are edified and empowered to face whatever life may throw (Acts 2:42; Ephesians 5:19; Romans 15:13-14; Hebrews 10:24-25).
If you notice you feel drained of hope and the will to follow Jesus Christ after spending time in church, listening to the sermons, and interacting with fellow congregants, it is a negative sign and may be an indication that your church doesn’t prioritize establishing a healthy environment for spiritual growth.
DAMPENING OF ZEAL
God commends those who are zealous for His work (Numbers 25:11-13) and encourages our zeal for Him (Revelation 3:19).
A healthy church will encourage zeal for God and His work and create opportunities for such zeal to be channeled to the appropriate areas for the growth of the kingdom of God and the edification of the saints.
However, if you notice that your zeal to do the things of God is constantly dampened by your church.
There’s a more lackadaisical approach to the things of God there. It is a sign that your presence there is not wanted and negatively influences you.
inside Saint Basil Cathedral
It is essential to be in a church that values your presence and encourages your active involvement in activities within the church community.
This nurtures your spiritual growth and helps your personal well-being.
The church’s inclusiveness offers a sense of belonging that helps emotional stability.
This is why you need to identify the telltale signs that may indicate your church’s lack of genuine interest in your spiritual and emotional well-being.
If your church is showing signs of not wanting or truly valuing your presence in their community, it may be time to search for one that prioritizes your spiritual development to join.
READ THIS NEXT:
7 Stories of Unity in the Bible
Meaning of peaches in the Bible
David Akeju is a Christian writer who believes in the transformational power of God’s Word. His articles and books have been published on global platforms, and thousands of lives have been touched. He works with pastors and ministers, churches and ministries, and brands.